Cleaning the Act

In 2002 around the end of January my husband developed persistent dry cough. Thinking it was cold we tried usual remedies for a while.

Unfortunately it did not go away, not even changed to a milder, mucus-releasing stage commonly preceding recovery.  His cough was especially draining in the mornings gradually calming down (or so we wished to believe) to the end of the day.

At one point we decided to go to the doctor. My husband was put through a series of tests which confirmed nothing specific. The doctor suggested antibiotics but after they did not work, attributed the cough to some kind of allergy and prescribed a nasal spray.

We obediently purchased the remedy. At home I read its ingredients, which included something hormonal and got scared. I suggested he was not taking it.  Instead we examined potential allergens in our household that were bought about the same time he started coughing.  After several empty trials we singled out drier softening tissues. They were recommended by a friend who said they would make our bed sheets especially soft and smelling nice.

As soon as I stopped using these tissues my husband’s cough was gone.     

It was a sign for us to start the transition toward less hazardous household cleaning products. However, for many reasons this was never our high priority.

Now I think that we’ve been lucky in this respect, because in parallel with our reluctant and slow chemical makeover the  greater variety of less hazardous products appeared on the market and eventually these two processes met somewhere in the middle, where the price was right.

We started buying more natural detergent and dishwasher liquid, then I returned to the old-fashioned baking-soda-and-vinegar cleaning solutions. And on one sunny spring morning all the harsh stuff that had  still been in occasional use was moved out from the house and stored outside, in the garage.  

While implementing these little improvements we did not give much thought to the  fashionable trend of “going green” (I have a particular distrust to flashy concepts like “global warming” or “carbon footprint”). We were simply focused on what was good and healthy for us (and for our cats).

By the way, with heavy snow showers lately and  remarkably low  temperatures I did not hear much about global warming. Does it mean - we passed the fad?

Speaking of my house-cleaning reform, I was also trying to be less wasteful. My habits in this department had been formed in the 80s and 90s, when women in the Soviet Union were diligently saving and reusing disposable plastic bags (and, yes, sometimes washed and hang-dried them on the cord!)

Vendors in grocery stores and at food markets expected us to have our own packaging resources.

This is a staged photo, and of the earlier era, but something like this...

And no respectable working mother would have left her house in the morning without two or three neatly folded used bags in her (sometimes, quite fashionable) purse. 

In America for a short period of time I was proudly discarding paper towels used as place mats for casual dinner thinking - this was a more civilized way. After realizing that I was American enough I returned to saving and reusing those of the towels that were still clean.  

We learned to limit watering our lawn in the beginning of summer. It  lets grass to develop strong root system able to thrive on less water later on. And we rarely turn on our conditioner in summer because our house is located and built so smartly (see “My American House”, if curious). It does not need much cooling.

...At this point I reread all the above and decided that my attempts at cleaning my space are far from impressive. I could've gone completely organic or entirely home-made, but I didn't.  I might be too frugal, or just - too lazy. Then I asked myself,

 "How clean is ...clean?"

and realized that I do not have a ready answer.

                                         

Max in Winter

In summer our cats Max and Masia are pretty much look-alikes. Though they are not blood-related, there is a reason why they resemble each other (see “Our Furry Stress Busters - 2” for explanation). 

But somewhere around Thanksgiving Max starts to expand. While Masia seems not to be impacted by dropping temperatures (she remains sleek and elegant), Max becomes more and more furry.

“Look at me, just look at me! What am I supposed to do with all this fur?”

He is not happy about it and about things in general.

The first time he saw snow he was very enthusiastic. He lifted up his little flat face so that it was practically parallel to the sky and tried to figure out where these white things were falling from. He also chased them around the deck.

But then he realized that green grass was gone and with it – chipmunks, and baby moles, and mice, and rabbits. He had no one to play with and to chase after. He was disappointed.  

And I got a strong impression that he blamed me for all these unfortunate changes.

I guess his logic was the following: as I was, in his opinion, the person responsible for all important things in our house (such as, food and comfort) then, I also should have been the one who controlled weather. He was incapable of preventing me from spoiling it, but at least, he could show me his uncompromised disapproval.

I did what all the arrogant adults do around unhappy minors – pretended that I was unaware of his feelings. I joined everyone in patting him and telling him how cute he was, because he was awfully cute in spite of his attitude.

When he entered the room as a scowled furry cloud on short paws people usually reacted “Whoa-a!” and rushed to touch and pull at him. 

In the early February his fur turned to felt. Once rubbing his belly I noticed an egg-size spot of bare skin. The spot was accurately oval and had a pink tint that seemed inappropriate. I rushed to my computer to make a quick research on feline skin problems.

First of all, I must warn everyone – never do any research in panic. But if you did (I probably would anyway) please, do not trust your conclusions. Because in such state of mind all  scary conditions look exactly like the one you are researching. 

I was convinced that Max got ringworm. When (and where) I grew up this condition was considered extremely contagious and impacted cats were not even treated. They were…

In the vet hospital my husband and I were reassured that it was not the case anymore. Max was promised doctor’s attention even though he had no prior appointment.

Waiting for the doctor in the lobby with Max in the carrier on my lap, I was  watching  very well-behaved big dogs with their owners passing by. Dogs looked like they did not mind it, even the one with front paw in cast and in plastic bag wrapped around it.  Its owner was deservingly relaxed and smiling.

I was neither. I worried that Max was scared and tried to cover the carrier with my puffy parka sleeves so that he could not see the dogs. But he did not need to see them to know - they were there. Max also sensed my anxiety (cats can do this). From time to time he screamed and tried to get out. This added to my neurosis which added to his…

When finally we got into the doctor’s office we both were shaken and Max did not want to behave. He lashed his claws at anyone approaching him. The doctor offered a sedative shot for Max and I asked one for me. Everyone (except Max) laughed.

It was not ringworm – just fur peeled away by excessive self-grooming. The doctor trimmed it a little and we took Max home enormously relieved. I mean my husband and me, because Max was still very upset.

So much so, that he peed in the car on our way home. He was still in the carrier on my knees when it happened. I remember being surprised that the smell of his urine was actually much lighter than the one coming from the litter box.

But with regard to the cause of the accident my husband and I  disagree completely. I think, it was Max’s reaction to stress, while my husband is adamant that Max had just to hold it for too long being  away from his litter through the ordeal.

I guess, he can not admit such a weakness in a male member of our family.

Some More WWM

For those who did not read my previous posting – WWM (What Works for Me) - are little arrangements that help me against food cravings. 

Here are some more WWM as promised:

Healthy snack: You would probably have it anyway, so a little extra effort to have a healthy one could actually increase guilt-free enjoyment.

Once or twice a day I like to munch on something plant-based, crunchy and long-lasting (to stretch the pleasure). Some people prefer carrots or trail mix, my snack of choice is radish.

I do not remember liking it much in my childhood. In fact, traditionally we snacked on apples, maybe due to their availability. I had radishes only in season and in salads, because on their own I found them quite bitter.

After we stopped eating meat I developed a real addiction to radishes. When I crunch them, you can show me chocolate cake or melting triple Sundae – not tempted! And they are never bitter for me anymore – just slightly poignant.

Wait after dinner: There is another rule I try to follow – waiting half an hour after a meal for the feeling of satiety. Nutritionists say that when your portions are more or less reasonable, you can expect to be satisfied in a while even if you did not feel it right after dinner.

I noticed however, that cravings might last more than half an hour, so I give myself a whole hour before making any decisions. If I still feel like eating after that I would not hesitate grabbing something – I am not a saint!

And another observation: whether I snacked after dinner or not, when it is finally bed time, my stomach calms down anyway. I guess, you either want to eat or to sleep - never both.

Being an early bird I am fully aware that this trick may not be working for the night owls who feel most hungry late in the evening. This difference in human dynamics is totally mysterious for me and I would not dare suggesting that those who tend to wake up late must simply change their habits.

There should be a  reason for such a strong distinction between these two categories.

Some alterations, though, are doable and advisable as many of us need to start early on a working day anyway. And based on the experiences of the owls I personally know regular breakfast makes such shift much easier.

No cooking shows in the evening: This is a little-bit outdated restriction, because I am rarely inspired by cooking shows nowadays. I see all tricks of the trade used by  TV chefs  – excessive list of ingredients  which they mix in surprising combinations, oil and butter casually thrown in one pan, charcoaled garlic “just for flavor”, fistfuls of salt sparingly added and far from healthy appearance of the cooking gurus themselves.  

But there was a time when I was much excited to see these shows. Well aware of the effect they had on me I used to bargain with myself: “I will only check who is there”, “This is a healthy food show”, “I need inspirations to expand my menu”.

But no matter what smart reason I would come with, the results were always the same – I felt like eating what I saw, or… just, anything.

Being seduced by cooking shows many times I decided to never watch them unless armed with a bowl of radishes (see above). And after a while it became clear to me that in most of the cases those recipes were not wholesome!

Have a nice alternative: I also share the common opinion that you should not eat after 7 p.m. or at least three hours before going to bed. Sometimes, though, it can make you anxious: “No food until tomorrow - this is too long!”

For such a case I like to have something pleasant to look forward to, for example, a delightful book on my bedside table, so instead of feeling bad I can anticipate happy reading.

Strategy of diverting activities: Another trick of mine – diverting physical and other activities strategically placed along the day that keep your appetite down and mind – occupied.

Physical activities like yoga class or dancing lesson have two additional benefits: they protect you from overeating before (you really do not want to do yoga on a full stomach!), and right after the activity  - it usually takes at least 30 min. to bring the appetite back. These sober minutes may be used for planning a sensible meal.

And finally -  remember that you will probably fail now and then. It is just better to be prepared than to feel powerless and disappointed. For situations like this specialists in nutrition (or maybe in psychology?) suggest to sincerely forgive yourself and start tomorrow from scratch.

What Works for Me

Or WWM, as I call them - are little arrangements that help me keep eating habits within reason. I have tested them and proven them working for at least one person – me.  

This is, of course, not a big deal, and my WWM may be not all suitable for people with different life dynamics or metabolism. However, taking into consideration universality of the craving problem I decided to share them.

So, here they are:

Plan for a week and plan for a day: It is easier for me to eat healthy, when I have a general meal plan for a week and a more specific – for a day.

For example, Monday is usually our vegetarian day (sometimes strictly raw and sometimes – not). Tuesday – is a former fasting (Paul Bragg’s inspired) day. Currently it is more like “no dinner” day, when instead we might just have tea with a wrapping (for example, whole spelt tortilla, scoop of soft goat cheese, two tomato slices and a bunch of greens).

On Wednesday we like to have grains or beans with vegetables, or fish and salad; Thursday is usually a big salad day with seeds or nuts for protein. Friday is my sunny-side-ups for dinner day. I like it with tomatoes and celery thrown in a pan together with eggs. My husband is a no-nonsense “just eggs, vegetables uncooked and on a separate plate” eater.  

On Saturday we usually do grocery shopping and, therefore, have a freshest-possible salad. Sometimes (about once a month) we skip dinner and instead go for lunch to our beloved sushi place. That is, of course, if we are not engaged elsewhere (then we skip sushi).

We also skip sushi: when we are invited to a party on Sunday (then we “shift” home-made Sunday dinner to Saturday) or, sometimes, for financial reasons. And, depending on the experiences of the previous day, Sunday is either fish/salad, or vegetarian.

Green smoothies: We started incorporating green smoothies into our diet three times a week, mostly on non-raw days, to balance (and reduce consumption of) less healthy foods. Very soon we felt like having them almost every day with different combinations of fruits and greens.  

No lunch: Because the concept of lunch has no equivalent in Russian tradition we ended up skipping it altogether most of the time.

In Russia the traditional meal  in the middle of the day is called dinner. It can be a classic three-course, if you wish. In the evening people usually have supper, and tea is very popular and can be taken at any break, at the end of dinner, or supper (or instead). 

So, after trying for a while to incorporate lunch into our daily routine, I returned my household “to our traditions”. We just have breakfast, early dinner, and then I drink my evening tea. 

This way I freed my mind from constant evaluation of our second important meal of the day (is this enough or too much?) and from pressure of making something different for dinner.

In fact I often prepare traditional lunch dish and just call it dinner. It is much easier to maintain variety this way.  

Cut and share eating out: As we noticed in our first years in America, eating out inevitably gave us extra pounds. I am not sure, what is the major culprit here: large portions, excessive fat or salt. Anyway, for the sake of our health and wallets we restricted eating out. 

It is difficult to avoid, though, on a business trip where things are complicated by the necessity of eating in new places. 

Maybe it is just me, but it is much harder for me to overcome temptations when trying new things. I may order one entry; then reluctantly agree to couple of "sides" and a "house salad" that goes with it; and then, after having an intense working day (which is usually the case on business trips) I feel myself entitled to a single dessert. Then the plates start coming… and it all ends in overeating.

But, again, maybe it is just poor me who sometimes does not fully understand waiters, or not aware of certain traditions.

So now, when we go to a restaurant, we usually order one salad and one entry or two different appetizers from lunch menu and share.  There is always plenty for two.

Some more WWM - next time.  

It Is Not About Hunger

A good friend of mine who is straggling with her weight told me the following story:

"When I turn on TV during a commercial of, let’s say, blueberry pancakes I immediately want them. It may be straight after dinner, a moment ago I felt totally full, but the picture of golden streaks of honey over warm puffy cakes makes me salivate.

Ten minutes later, in the next commercial I would see a stack of crackers and start wondering if we had anything similar in the pantry. Inspired by these visuals I might crave pizza after candy and then a fried chicken wing. Eventually I would end up opening the fridge and eating something… unplanned."  

Frankly, I do not have a problem with TV commercials, because most of them look very unhealthy to me. But when I do grocery shopping I try every sample in the store. It may be a processed product that I would never buy to eat at home, but a small bite of it, as a harmless little indulgence… why not?  

So, what is it: a bad habit, lack of self-control or poor judgment?

Some people believe that if they limited their food consumption they will be constantly hungry. To avoid it nutritionists suggest having more fiber, or even - to reduce stomach surgically. That will make us satisfied earlier, so we will easily get slim and, consequently, healthy.  

This approach puzzles me a lot, because most of us hardly ever experienced hunger. To be really hungry food must be chronically scarce.

In one documentary made somewhere in Ceylon a famous American traveler was invited to a village feast. A stick-thin old woman in traditional dress offered him something looking like a handful of rice on banana leaf. Taking into consideration the circumstance this was no doubt a generous “guest” portion. 

Around us food is abundant, easily available, in our faces more often than not, and sometimes even free (yes, samples!)

The truth is – we often eat not to satisfy hunger but because the process makes us feel good. While having a morning coffee, dinner, ice cream, or a bucket of popcorn, we experience pleasure and comfort. Worries and anxieties fade or step aside. Studies say that food alleviates depression and (this I checked myself) calms down moderate pain such as head- or toothache.

Naturally, anyone would like to prolong such a feeling and induce it as often as possible.

"Drinking tea", by V. Nesterenko
This is how we like it! And, by the way, every object in this picture is real

Of course, when we were young, we had other sources of joy, much more powerful and noble: the intense array of romantic emotions, the thrill of intellectual or physical achievement. Who cared for food then? I could skip dinner for days, or grab something instead, just to keep myself on the go.

But let’s be honest, after 40 for the most of us these are sweet memories. Gradually and quietly, food becomes our closest buddy, our most reliable (hopefully, not the only one) source of gratification.

Another peculiarity of human digestion is actually formed by evolution: it is the ability to eat as often as you can get it. Predators in their natural habitat eat once in a while after they chased and killed their prey. Then they lay satisfied and rest for days.

Humans, on the other hand, may consume food anytime, just in case there would be no such opportunity later. Therefore, we can be pretty full, and yet a mere sight of food might trigger cravings again. This human weakness is very well known to producers of billboards and TV commercials. 

So to get control over food we must first admit that by the laws of nature we are not supposed to be in control here.

It has nothing to do with certain individuals having more willpower than others.  Some overweight people hesitate starting healthy diet because they believe themselves morally weaker than their slim friends.

No, we are all in this together.

Therefore, we need all help we can get to fight unreasonable food cravings. This is important not just to control portions but in making healthier choices.

Over the years I have collected an arsenal of little arrangements to help myself on a bad day. Some of them I figured out on my own, and others - found in related publications. Not all the recommendations out there worked for me. But those that do may be as well useful for somebody else.

Next time I will share them in this blog.